Soul matters

Today I was walking home from work. I tried to cross 16th Street at Arkansas, but then intuition led me to keep walking on 16th Street and cross at Connecticut. I didn't know why but would soon find out. First, on Connecticut Street between 16th and 17th Streets, I saw another family of the african lily, my new favorite flower that is my own personal symbol of future support. Then, on Connecticut between Mariposa and 18th, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. If I had crossed the street at Arkansas, I would have walked Arkansas all the way up to 18th and would have missed both the african lily and my friend (hi Mandy!).

Mandy told me something that I found very interesting. She is a fashion design student but is hesitant about continuing her studies because "fashion is so external." That statement really resonated with me. These days I find myself attaching much less importance to fashion than I did, say, a year ago, and that is true for a lot of other external things as well. I simply don't have an interest in external things right now. All I care about is internal goings-on. When I talk to a friend, I don't want to hear about their new iPod or about programming code or the house that they bought. I want to hear about how their soul is feeling, and how their soul was feeling a year ago, and where their soul has been.

And on a professional level, I feel the same way. I don't want use logic to help create more external stuff. I want to use my soul to communicate with other souls and to create and reorganize internal stuff in myself and in them. The soul, the psyche, is the only thing that matters to me right now. You could say that I have tunnel vision, but really, it is funnel vision.